Perseverance

On a (somewhat) lighter note….

I know my posts so far have been kind of “heavy”, and even I’m getting a little overwhelmed with them, so here’s a topic that is just as important to me, but a little "happier." (and in writing this post, I have learned a few things I didn't know I already knew) :)

The past month has been crazy! (In a good way… for the most part). I’ve (somehow) had a lot of time to reflect on my life as a military spouse. If you knew me before circa 2007, you know that I never “dreamed” of being a military spouse. It never really sounded appealing. Don’t get me wrong, I have always admired and respected military families, I just never thought I’d be in one myself.

I did date a Marine for a short time in college… he left for Iraq, called me a few times while he was there and then I never heard from him again…. I scoured the fallen soldier web page for months, but since I didn’t know his last name, I didn’t have much luck… I know how crazy that sounds. I dated a guy and didn’t even know his last name? I’ve since learned to get those details before agreeing to ride in a car with anyone. #Lifelessons.

Anyway, back to being a military spouse. Moving all over the country; being separated from your spouse for days, months, even years; living in what seemed to be less than desirable places,only to miss the simplicity, relationships and memories I gained from each of them; doing most everything alone; the risk of saying goodbye to your spouse and never seeing them again. Doesn’t that sound great? I never thought so. So, I was content with the idea of one day marrying a 9-5er.

Then I met my husband.

At the time, he was a medical claims adjuster at Geico… boring, but safe.  On our first date he made a point to make me understand his goals in life. He was going to be an F16 pilot in the USAF. Haha, you’re cute Mr. Claims Adjuster. I played along and let him know that I would one day single handedly cure cancer, HIV, and inequality. He was really cute, so I could look past the wild fansaties. *For the record, he also told me that once he retired from flying F16’s, he would be a pilot for Virgin Galactic and fly people into space. At this point, he had about 40 hours in a Bonanza….

Joke’s on me.

It was a long, tedious, and many times heartbreaking process. Interviewing as a civilian at Air Force bases all ove the US for that rare chance at being hired as an F16 pilot. He received more rejection letters than we like to admit, but he has saved them all to “show our future children that things worth having don’t come easy.”

I fell in love with his drive and dedication. I’d finally met my match.

After a handful of rejections, he decided to prove his dedication. He enlisted in the Oklahoma Air National Guard… Oh joy. We’d only been dating for a year. Why me? And why, of all places, Oklahoma?! Oklahoma was close and had “the best mission.”

I put my big girl panties on and supported him. It could be worse! (This has become my mantra).

I supported him through Basic Training (8 weeks of ONLY communicating through letters…. very “The Notebook-ish” :), Tech School, one weekend a month and two weeks a year while he continued to interview with Oklahoma and many other units over the next few years.

No luck. Heartbreaking. But he always took it in stride.

He almost gave up with only a year and a half left to meet the age qualification (you can no longer be hired after the age of 29), but he decided to persevere. He went to a few more interviews… Wisconsin, San Antonio, and some other place that didn’t interest me. Again, no luck, BUT he was selected as alternate for the San Antonio unit. It was a long shot, but there was hope.

Then the call came!

6 months after the San Antonio interview, Adam called me while I was at work and informed me that the original pilot hired by the San Antonio unit had been disqualified so now he would be their guy! Holy geezus! I was ecstatic! He didn’t seem as thrilled… It was still early, there were a lot of hurdles to jump before this could be real to him (funny how much that resonates with me now… related to pregnancy).  So, I celebrated in silence and supported him through the hurdles.

Officer Candidate School (8 weeks in Alabama). Survival Evasion Resistance and Escape School (1 month in Washington). Water Survival (3 says in Florida). Initial Flight Screening (3 weeks in Colorado). Specialized Undergraduate Pilot Training (13 months in Mississippi). Introductory to Fighter Fundamentals (6 weeks in Mississippi).

And here we are. The B Course (9 months in Arizona). Where he will train in the F16. That crazy dream of Mr. Claims Adjuster has come full circle and I could not be more proud of the dedication and sacrifice he’s made to get here. Looks like I have some catching up to do…

Looking back on the last 6 years, it is incredible what we’ve overcome (because meanwhile.. we got married, adopted a dog, lost a baby, traveled, I earned 2 masters degrees and became a nursing professor, we lived apart for 2 years, and finally recently moved across 3 states). It puts things into perspective. It was difficult (unbearable) at times, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Being a military spouse has been the most incredible experience of my life so far. It has allowed me to grow as a person. I have met life long friends that I couldn’t imagine doing life without. It has shown me how strong my husband is, and how strong our marriage is. It has pushed me to my limits. It has taught me how to change light bulbs 8 feet in the air, put up and take down a 10 foot Christmas tree, clean the gutters, sell a house, find a new one in a strange city, and do just about anything I put my mind to. I’ve become closer to my in-laws, family and friends. I have become better. I have the military to thank for that.     

And I’ve learned (thanks to the man at my side) that we don’t always get what we want the first, second, or even fifteenth time around, but with persistence, hard work and dedication, even the most outrageous dreams can become reality. I just have to continue to remind myself of that.